The Pain of Being Played

I don’t understand why men feel it’s important to play women and be with as many of them as possible.

Most people go into relationships expecting fulfillment, happiness of some sort, someone to call at the end of the night just to say ‘good night’ to. But the new trend is being in a relationship with a guy who has a few different women calling to say ‘good night.’

This trend of ‘playin’ (or being with as many girls as possible) seems to be very popular in today’s society.

If you avoid relationships, or if you’ve been with the same significant other for the last three years, this might not be that important to you. But to the friends around you, striving to get their homework done on time and still keep a smile on their faces while being in a hurtful relationship, it’s hard work.

I was in a relationship for about two years, the majority of my high school career. We attended different high schools, and he was two years older. Going into this relationship, I heard a lot of negative things said about my new-found friend. But my philosophy in life is let the past be the past and move on, which I must admit was a bit naive on my part.

Over the course of these two years, I was cheated on with three different girls that I know of. And when you put all you have into something, and it just gets thrown away, it tears you up like tiger feasting on its prey.

Feeling betrayed

I guess I was never really told what was happening, but there were clues. He quit calling at night, he quit acting the same toward me. Eventually, I went out to dinner one night after school and saw him standing outside of a movie theater with someone I had suspected but never actually knew of being with him. I never felt any more betrayed or hurt.

When I finally broke up with this man and looked back throughout our entire relationship, I realized that I was willing to stay with the guy after the first time, because I honestly believed I loved him. And ladies, I am sure you all know what it is like to love a man so much, whether it be your father, or some long-time boyfriend that when something like this happens, you don’t know what to feel.

I don’t understand why men feel it’s important to play women and be with as many of them as possible. Sure, some women don’t mind just being a one-time thing. But when a guy says to a girl night after night that he cares about her, but he still continues to be with other girls, there has to be some sort of insecurity issue with this man. The more women he gets with, the more attractive and secure he feels? I don’t think women should have to risk their security, by putting their trust in someone and just having it smashed to pieces. What’s the fun in risking getting diseases or babies that you might not even know about? Where’s the fun in destroying another person?

Some of my relationships with my closest friends were at a halt because he had become my world. My family was disappointed in the way I chose to think about him, how I had let him control me so much. I felt I could never love again, I could never trust again. I felt worthless.

Luckily, in the end, I still had my friends and my mom to help me get over this catastrophe and keep me strong even when I felt like I
wasn’t. I hope that every woman who gets into a relationship knows what she is risking nowadays, because it is a VERY difficult job trying to grow back into someone you love.

Dannah is a senior in Minneapolis, “I got into writing because no one else in 5th grade wanted to write the class newsletter.” She is an editor for her school’s newspaper and is “addicted to music.”